Hesitation
Written on May 10, 2010 by myspi
Category: Advice, General Talk
This is in response to an earlier article about making choices. It really hit home, especially since I’m a senior, and I just wanted to elaborate on a subject along the same lines.
One of the major problems with making decisions is… hesitation.
The girl considers entering the mysterious waters...
Hesitation.
It should be one of the deadly sins. Maybe more dangerous than lust, pride, sloth, greed, envy, gluttony, and wrath put all together. (Ok, I may be exaggerating a bit there.) Hesitation is the cause of many regrets and failures, as evidenced through numerous clichés in literature and media.
Because in that moment, before making a decision or taking an action, the consequences of what follows may lead to the remaining sins. And I don’t mean that hesitating before choosing whether or not to eat ice cream will result in accusations of gluttony for the cold dessert. Nothing so drastic as that.
The Consequences of Making a Decision
In times of significance, that space in time may decide if you follow your instincts or let another factor prevent you from making the right choice. Peer pressure, overwhelming doubt, fear, and all those demons that like to whisper in our ears. You might make the wrong choice. Or the right one. But those little devils return to doubt even your hesitation and contradict themselves by pointing wildly at the other option.
We’ve all had those thoughts. Those times when you want to pull your hair out or punch a wall in because of a split decision, or an agonizing debate. I know this, because I personally have had this issue. I very much regret not applying to several colleges because I don’t have the freedom of choice I would have otherwise. I only have a few colleges to choose from, and my top choice rejected me. I kept changing my mind. Should I go here? It has a good program for my major… but it’s in a bad neighborhood. What about there? No, I don’t want to commute every day… I kept making excuses because I didn’t have the best school with the best program that I wanted.
Why I Messed Up
I asked myself, what was I doing in November?
I didn’t research all my options. I let my parents’ restrictions on distance prevent me from applying to better suited colleges. With more retrospect, I realized I was rehearsing a play, working on a 4,000 word essay, fighting off senioritis, and other burdens that come with the first semester of senior year with IB. I didn’t make it a priority and that was my mistake and I accept that. It still makes me wish I did, though.
Coming to Terms with your Mistakes is Important
Nonetheless, I’ve made a decision. I think the school I chose is pretty fitting for the kind of person I am. It brings to mind something a person said to me when I was discussing where I wanted to go: “You’ll get into the right college for you.”
It’s true. Even though I didn’t get into the college I wanted, I found a place I’m comfortable with. The college I chose wasn’t even one of the options I was seriously considering in the beginning. Hesitation makes things difficult and may overwhelm you, but you shouldn’t let it. Sometimes the best things happen when you trust yourself. Although you might not get what you expect, you learn and find something new. Regrets and fears are worse when it’s about something you didn’t do.
(I’m also immensely proud of myself for asking a guy to prom. Even if things didn’t turn out how I wanted.)
But don’t become a deranged risk-taker taking any choice that appeals to them. We are only teenagers. Save that for when you’re 21 ;D
Tags: Advice
